two weeks ago, winter hit and we hadn't reached the government's magic date to turn on the heat in our apartment...we did a lot of shivering...
control...
the last few days we've hit a heat wave..and now i can't turn OFF the heat in our apartment...it's miserable...
control...
i took another cold shower this morning because someone, somewhere is fixing a pipe...again...
control...
i stepped into the kitchen to wash the dishes, flipped on the faucet to find that, now, there is NO water...again...
control...living in a place like mongolia can make a person feel as though they have NONE!
but then, wait a minute! we really don't, do we?
oh sure, living all nice and cozy in the familiar makes me FEEL like i do. i have everything laid out, i know what's what, i have everything under control...
go to the grocery store...get what's on the list (because it's there!)
call the doctor, make an appointment (because the receptionist is present...and helpful...and i actually understand every word she's saying)
i know what's coming...right?
but really, i have no idea what i might encounter on the way to that grocery store, or what phone call i might receive just after hanging up with the doctor's office.
no matter where we are on the planet, we're not the one's in charge are we?...and we don't need to be, do we?
'we can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps'...that's what solomon in all his wisdom tells us...
it's easy in my comfort zone to take charge and do it all on my own, i think i know what to expect, i think i know what causes produce what effects...
but step out of that zone, into a land where NOTHING is in my control, and nothing goes as i expected, and that illusion is shattered. i'm reminded in such a beautifully uncomfortable way that, not i, but the LORD orders my every step...
and as the physical spins out of my control, maybe my focus is placed where it needed to be in the first place...on the eternal, and the One who knows exactly what's coming my way...
let's face it...He really is a lot better at His job than i am ;)...
so i'm resting in my chaos and His control...and a sigh of relief is escaping my lips...
