i'm so often asked what a typical day looks like for me...
the question makes me cringe a little inside...because it usually encompasses fire.guest.tea.cooking.water.homeschool.fire.guest.tea.homeschool.water.cooking.fire.cooking. guest.tea.fire.bed.
sadly...far less sexy than the world-changer-daily-miracles-abundant-fruit adventure they probably have in their mind.
but this typical day found me swinging an 8 pound axe in sub-zero temperatures.
truth: i'm painfully awkward with an axe.
my neighbors can add it to the countless mental pictures they have stored up as they watch me navigate countryside life...
yes...if i never impact them spiritually i can guarantee my presence in this village has never left them wanting for entertainment.
nose running [and subsequently...snot freezing]... a very valid fear of amputation producing the world's most hideous stance... it takes me at least 10 swings to do the same work my husband can do in 1...
but his back is out...[like...way out]...and the house is cold...and that means i'm the woman for the job.
really? i'm the woman for this job? Lord, there are approximately 2,982 people in this town [...oh... small children are most definitely included] more qualified for this than i...why am i the one standing here? and the slight frustration brings my swing count down to 8...
...but it's not really about the firewood...
see...what any self-respecting mongolian missionary does not let you know in the prayer letter is this...
we.don't.know.what.the.heck.we're.doing.
oh we did...in the beginning...
we had plans and goals and general philosophies...
but somehow putting feet to them brought us down paths for which no seminary or webinar or round-table could ever prepare us...
even similar paths vary in their twists and turns
...nothing is as clear cut as even the knotted wood at my feet.
because let's face it...i'm not walking in scenarios.maps.flow charts.or statistics...
i'm doing life...sometimes spectacular and sometimes mundane...on broken ground with broken people [of whom i am axe-wielding chief]. my eyes...my ears...my thoughts...they're so limited...so physical. as i rub shoulders in the everyday...who am i to say how the Lord is working in it all?
i honestly.don't.know...and i'm slowing letting go of the needing to...
...the last 8+ years have been a beautiful undoing of all my ideas and plans and expectations...
an unraveling of hows and whens and whys into the Who behind it all.
and my role [when i look past the aforesaid unraveled mess and remember it] has become...
showing up.continuing.moving...
trusting a God eternal to do what He does...through a woman who more skillfully chops the language than the firewood...
the woman He called...
the woman for the job...
3 comments:
I love you, you sweet, imperfect, totally special, wonderful woman!!!
I can understand where you're coming from. Perhaps the biggest work God does on the mission field is sometimes not necessarily what we do for them, but rather the work God does in the own missionaries heart /life. I can attest to this!
Great post Stephanie.
Bob Slayman.
You slay me with your words. When I pray for you, I am as unprepared to speak intelligently to the Almighty on your behalf as your ability to swing that axe. I never know where to start or how to be specific. So I always start with socks and that they are keeping your feet warm. I know we have a connection there and it somehow opens other areas that hopefully need prayer. Sometimes I just pray for a legion of angels to protect you and your family. I am thankful for this blog that helps me be more direct with my requests for you and your family. I now will pray for chopped wood and tea given with His love even when you don't feel like it. Thank you sweet friend for allowing us to see into your life. Hugs from Idaho. Judi Hines
And the formally@gmail does not work My email is judi@i-map.org
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